Faithfulness over Fear

Transcripts are computer-generated and may not be 100% accurate.

Hey, welcome everyone. Sara, welcome home from South Africa. Wow, this is fun. Hey, my name's Debbie Manning. I'm one of the pastors. Well, hi Jack. I'm one of the pastors here at The Table and last week was Easter Sunday and we talked about the Risen Christ and how that story is a story for us. That it's a story that we can claim as ours and that we need to hear that same old story over and over again because it's a reminder that new life keeps happening, is already happening all around us. Whether we see it or not expect it or not, believe it or not, that the resurrection story is ours. 

And as we go deeper and deeper into our story tonight, we return to Mark. We've been in the gospel of Mark since last September. We took a little break for, um, advent, for Palm Sunday for Easter, but we're back at it in Mark tonight. And the theme that Mark has carried continues on. And that's the divinity of Jesus. 

And specifically in the text tonight, we get a glimpse of the divine authority and power of Jesus as he walks on water, not to be mistaken with him, um, calming the seas when we talked about it in chapter four a few months ago. But tonight we hear just a little bit of a different story and Jesus's mastery over nature. 

So in the midst of where we're at tonight, there's all sorts of themes of faith and trust and spiritual perception and the realities of miracles and overcoming fear. And it was fear that jumped out to me that I was drawn to, that I wanted to go with tonight. And thinking about fear as the most, in the most basic way as a feeling that, um, a feeling that we have that's a response to something that, uh, feels dangerous or that perhaps we feel threatened by. 

And we all have stories, don't we, of ghosts and fears and some of them, um, some of are sort of imagined fears and some of them are based in things that are very real things that are hard crises in our life. And I was thinking back on some of those imagined fears and how they've been with us forever, right? 

Like when I was a little girl, one of the first memories I've had of really being afraid. And when I talk about being afraid, you know, that kind of gripping fear that sort of catches you and you, your breath kind of stops and your heart's beating fast and even you kind of wanna scream, but nothing comes out. I remember I was probably five or six years old laying in my little twin bed in my house in Arlington Heights, Illinois, a little ranch house. My room was right across from my parents. 

And I woke up in the middle of the night and I looked up at my open closet and there on the shelf I swore there was a woman in a dress laying there. She was like a ghost. And I was literally, you guys gripped with fear. I couldn't move what felt like I was five or six years old, what felt like maybe 20 minutes, who knows what it was. I couldn't speak, I couldn't yell for my parents, I couldn't move. 

And finally I slithered down the bed and I crawled across the hall and of course my parents, they came over, turned on the lights and went, these are a bunch of clothes and toys stacked on your thing. There's no ghost woman there. But those are the kind of ghosts that so often we imagine. And it, it creates a very real fear. 

But jump ahead 20 years and my husband and I, probably in our late twenties, we're on a backcountry hiking trip out west and we're in the backcountry area of Yellowstone Park. You hike in with your backpacks, the the um, campsites are about a mile apart from each other. We run into a ranger and the ranger says, “Hey, you guys, heads up there is an aggressive bear that's been running around so you guys should be aware as you camp here.” We went, “Great. We got it.” We had a beautiful night, we went fishing, cooked up that fish, sat around a campfire, and dozed off in our little two-man pup tent. 

And in the middle of the night with the moon shining in, I heard a little rustling. I woke up in there in the shadow, I swore it was a bear. I'm not kidding. I couldn't do anything. I literally like poke Steve, like this, “A bear, a bear.” And he turns and he goes, “That is a tree, with a branch like this. That is not a bear.” And if anybody knows us, you will attest to this. I went, “Ah, great.” And I fell back to sleep. I was like, got a great night's sleep. Steve was up the entire night. He was so pissed. 

But those imagined things that can create fear. And then like I said earlier, those very real things and we've all had those I was thinking about, I shifted a little bit 'cause I heard you guys were gonna be here. Even those things that you guys might not identify as fear might be a little bit of fear. Like, oh, who am I gonna sit with at lunch? Will I be picked for the team? Will I make the team? Well I be the top player on the team. How did I do on the test? Those are all things we carry with us whether we acknowledge it or identify it or not. 

And I think about those very real things in my own life and I know we all have 'em. We all have those things and they're little and they're big and they go from trying to make the cheerleading squad in high school to what college I'm gonna get into to struggling with the fear after years of infertility of would we ever have a baby to finding out my sister had cancer and the fear of what that would look like for her. 

And then after she died of cancer, as I was thinking about this, I was like my own fear or that. I realized when a sister that got diagnosed at 40 with breast cancer and after she died, I waited three years to have a mammogram. And as I walked in there and was shaking, I realized, I'm afraid. I hadn't even realized it, I hadn't even named it. 

But are those kinds of fear some imagine some real, and we do outgrow some of those fears, don't we? But I don't think we outgrow fear itself and that fear that can grip us and paralyze it us it does rear its head every now and again and whether imagined, whether real, our text tonight. And that's what I love about being in this book of Mark. The text speaks to us in so many different ways. It speaks exactly to that. 

Now, just to give you a little context, 'cause it's been a few weeks prior to this text, Jesus has miraculously fed 5,000 plus people. And so we had a glimpse. We got a glimpse of Jesus's divine power and provision as we jump into Mark 6:45-52:

Immediately he made his disciples get into the boat and go on ahead to the other side to Bethsaida. And while he dismissed the crowd and after saying farewell to them, he went up to the mountain to pray. 

And when evening came, the boat was out on the sea and he was alone on the land. And when he saw that he, they were straining at the oars against an adverse wind, he came toward them in the early morning walking on the sea. He intended to pass them by, but when they saw him walking on the sea, they thought it was a ghost. And they cried out for all, for they all saw him and they were terrified. 

But immediately he spoke to them and he said, take heart. It is, I do not be afraid. And then he got in the boat with them and the winds ceased and they were utterly astonished. So they did not understand about the loaves and their hearts were hardened. 

There is both that sort of imagined fear and some fear based in something very real going on in the story for the disciples. 'cause as you can imagine here they are navigating this, the challenges of the sea of Galilee. They're struggling against the wind. The waves are crashing against their boat. 

And here's the thing, they would've understood the dangers 'cause handful of those disciples were fishermen. They would've understand the risk, the dangers of the seas. They're in the middle of this storm. But add to that fear that they'd been experiencing during the storm, that the disciples see who they think is a ghost walking toward the water toward them. And Mark tells us they are terrified. The unexpected, supernatural nature of Jesus that is coming toward them created more fear, more confusion than anything. 

So picture this, everybody, the middle of a storm, the chaos, the confusion, the uncertainty. I mean we can think about our own life like that, those moments like that. Haven't you been in that same boat that the disciples have been in? 'cause I'll tell you what, I know that I have been, and I'm gonna take the liberty of saying I think everyone in this room could relate in one way or another to the both physical and spiritual challenges that the disciples were experiencing in that moment. 

And here's why I know that. Because that is life. That is our life. Our childhood ghost stories and fears. They have not ended, but they've changed. And regardless of whether our ghosts are real, our fear is, and each of us in this room could tell stories. You know, when you're young and something's new, I think it makes sense, right? Maybe it's even good that we're a little afraid of some things 'cause we're afraid of the unknown. 

A couple weeks ago we were in Florida as a family. And Patty, you can throw that picture up of Ben, Kate and Jordan. Um, Jordan was on uh, mater paternity leave and they were in Florida for three weeks. There's Ben. We thought for sure, they thought for sure this little guy who's gonna be three and would be just a swimmer. Look at the anxiety on his face. Two weeks in. That's as far as he got into the water. 

And if you show the next one, Patti, he spent most of his time either there or running around the perimeters of the pool with one of us chasing him. He was afraid. He was afraid of the unknown. And I think that makes sense. And what we know is that once Ben learns how to swim, which he will, he won't be afraid that fear will vanish. 

But we have lots of those fears, the ones like I said, that we outgrow and that we sometimes don't. And as we get older, those fears can become things like the fear of being alone, the fear of belonging, the fear of death and dying. The fear of losing someone that we love. It can look like the fear of loss of health or success, security or reputation. We could fear. We fear failure, abandonment, rejection. We fear being outta control and powerless sometimes even maybe without even knowing it. We might fear others that look, talk, act, and think differently than we do. We fear being not enough and we fear being found out. 

It reminds me of the imposter syndrome. The first time I had a good understanding of the imposter syndrome. Our middle daughter, Annie, was starting med school six plus years ago. And they had this big event for families over at the U so that you could come and you could understand how to support what was gonna be happening in the next four years. And they talked about the imposter syndrome being this psychological experience of feeling like a phony or a fraud despite all your achievement, despite what you've earned, despite all those things. And the person speaking said, “I guarantee you every student in here feels like an imposter.” We knew that from our daughter 'cause she had shared that Do I belong? Did I really make it here? And the funny thing is here you got a hundred students in this class that were whittled down from thousands that had interviewed and, and had a spot there. 

But what I realized when I understood what imposter syndrome was, is that I've had that same fear over the years. I just never named it. And I could tell you tons of times that that happened to me. But one that sticks out for me is when I was in seminary, I seminary felt like a call. There's a rightness in that I couldn't out, you know, in your mid forties you're just eaten up, like being able to learn just for the sake of learning. 

But there's um, two years in, I had to take Greek a year and a half of Greek ancient Biblical Greek. I've told this story a few years back and a colleague of mine, Bill McLean, a friend, he was a few years ahead of me, he was graduating and he stopped by my office at the church and he dropped off two huge bags of books on ancient biblical Greek. And here's Bill McLean. He's this guy, highly successful businessman that flipped his career, um, midlife and decided to be a pastor. And in almost tears he said, Greek was so hard for me that it's the only class that I almost didn't pass. 

I went home this that night, no exaggeration. I laid in my bed and I sobbed like a baby. I was like, I I'm not good enough. I can't do this. What am I, what am I here for? Should I, my husband's like, oh my gosh, what is going on? But it's the imposter syndrome. I didn't, I had so much fear around actually being, um, able to be there to be part of this group. 

But fear you guys, it's a part of our lives. We fear change. We fear the unknown. We fear uncertainty. We fear not knowing what's ahead in the future. And what I realized when I was studying this week is that I, over the years have taken pride. And I am not proud to say I've taken pride and kind of thinking, well I'm not a very fearful person. 

And I do think I'm not driven by fear or it's not something that's constant, but it's certainly rears its ugly head sometimes for me because as I'm studying and reading and owning and naming and, and there's a lot of insight going on when you're studying these passages, I'm realizing I actually have a lot of fears. And you know what wakes me up in the morning and what I'm afraid of, sometimes it grips me and I have an irrational fear that something's gonna happen to one of my grandchildren. I'm so scared.

And sometimes I wake up and I'm worried about this church and I'm afraid about what's next and I don't know what's gonna happen. And I am afraid that what we do here doesn't matter. Like does this matter? And then sometimes afraid, do we do enough? Do we not do, do we do too much? Are we biblical enough? Are we not biblical enough? Are we Christ enough? Are we doing enough? And I get caught up in that fear.

And then like a lot of us, I can get caught in the fear of what's going on in our country, what'll happen to our democracy If Donald Trump's elected in November, that's how I really feel. I'm afraid. I'm afraid around the climate crisis and the future for my kids. I'm afraid about my complicity as being part of this country and funding a war in Israel that has killed 33,000 Gazans. That's what grips me. That's where I can get caught. 

And I imagine some of you have those same fears. So what's happening to the disciples is happening to us and happening to our world. And all you need to do is look around, read the headlines, listen to the voices in your head. Hey, read study scripture because you'll find the most common thing that God says over and over again is do not be afraid. But most of us are, we've ridden the same boat, we've been hit by the waves and we've seen the ghost. And I think that's a crux. 

The problem you guys is we've seen that ghost and we thought it's a ghost. We haven't realized that that ghost is actually the presence of God in the midst of all our fear. And when we don't recognize that, it's then that fear can take a hold of us, then it's fear that distorts our vision that holds us back from a full life. And fear can often determine our choices, the things we we say, the actions we take, the prayers we offer. And I think what all of us know here, right, is that we cannot let fear be the driver of our lives. 

And I think that's what Jesus is getting at here. 'cause we know this of thinking about how we've talked over the years about um, the opposite of love isn't hate, but the opposite of love is fear. And we are people who claim the love of God, practice the ways of Jesus, follow the son of love, have committed to leading with love, not leading our lives with fear. 

But here's the good news in this text tonight, there's more to this story. Yep. The disciples are struggling on this journey, that's for sure. They're straining at the oars and clearly this is a difficult experience for them. But Jesus doesn't abandon them in the wind and in the chaos he comes walking along the sea. It's exactly what God did in the Hebrew scriptures. And the text tells us that he intends to pass them by. And I think that's kind of interesting. 

You know, there's a parallel story in the book of Matthew. He doesn't mention a word about Jesus passing them by. And there's lots of commentators all over the place that are talking about why would Mark say this? But most of them land on this. Most of them land on that. It's not an act of ignoring the disciples, but an act of recalling God's appearance to human beings in the Old Testament. 'cause that's how God appeared: passing by. It's a design of the divine in the midst of the chaos that the disciples are experiencing. 

And even better news, Jesus does not pass him by. He does not pass the disciples by, as the disciples see him, Jesus cries out to them: “Ami, I am,” the divine name that was muttered to Moses from the burning bush. And he goes on to command: “Do not be afraid.” The standard comment that God has made throughout scripture whenever he appears. 

There's a theologian and commentator, his name is William Placher. And he has this to say about this specific text: “All this is screaming, Jesus is God. It is screaming, God is with you.” And that God hears the cries, he feels the pain. And here's what he says, “Take heart. It is, I do not be afraid.” And this is the best line in the whole thing, thing for me. 

And then he gets in the boat with them and the winds die down. I think we're often people who pray to be rescued from circumstances in which we're afraid. I, I certainly have. We wanna escape the storm and avoid the gout with the ghost. I think we wanna be picked up and set down somewhere that's comfortable and calm and safe. 'cause man that feels a whole lot better. But Jesus doesn't do that. He didn't do that for the disciples. He doesn't often do that for us. But instead he reveals himself and he speaks and he comes to the disciples in and from the midst of that very storm, he didn't take the disciples out of the storm. He entered the storm with them. 

And if you notice in the text, he also didn't take 'em and land, bring 'em to land. Instead what he did, he was enabled them to continue the journey. 'cause this is the reality of life. God doesn't always remove those obstacles in front of us. But what he does do in moments, he calms the winds, gives us the strength to move forward in whatever that storm in your life is. 

We've all got a story. I think we all have many stories, but as Jesus we followed, he walked, came to the disciples walking on water through the wind and the darkness and his peace and his words of comfort and his presence, they weren't outside of the storm, they were actually in the eye of the storm. 

So it's interesting to me. So why don't we always look for him in that place, in that place of fear? 'cause that is so often where Jesus shows up. I mean we think about it, where else would he be? We know this God we follow is Emmanuel God with us. But why? And I think it's because we miss it. We often miss His presence in the midst of all of it. This recognition of God, his power, the miracles. 

And it's the God with us that the disciples miss in this story. Initially, they don't recognize him. I think it's fair to say we don't always recognize God either. It's a ghost. They screamed in terror. It's the only thing that made sense, right? People don't walk on water had to be a ghost. What else could it be? That is the power of fear to deceive and to distort and to drown. 

Part of me wants to go, really? They didn't see Jesus. I mean, weren't they like firsthand witnesses to all the stuff he'd been doing for months? Yet after Jesus gets in the boat and he calms the waves, Mark tells us the disciples were utterly astounded and that they didn't understand the loaves and their hearts were hardened. Jesus', divine self, um, divine self revelation, some pretty stark contract contrast. I think to the disciples response, they're hindered by the wind and they reacted in terror to Jesus' presence. 

And at first it might seem like a natural response, but think about what these guys had been witnessing miracles, healings, casting out a demons raising the dead. They had witnessed Jesus's divine power in feeding over 5,000 people with a little bit of bread and a few fish. And you'd think by now you'd think by now that their faith would be strong and that they would recognize God's presence, his power, the ability to do miracles. They'd witnessed it all. 

But before we get too judgy on those disciples that sometimes we call little bit bumbling, had to stop and think and realize I can relate because in all my years of life and friendship and family and ministry and holy stuff and hard stuff, I have witnessed God's power and presence in miracles and things that I would never anticipated, expected imagines that could possibly happen. 

And I still need to be reminded. I still need to be reminded that God is right here with us always. No matter what you're going through, no matter what's happening in your life, the disciple's problem isn't that they weren't able to make headway against the wind or that they were rowing. They weren't rowing hard enough. 

Here's the problem, here's our problem. It's that they hadn't learned the lesson of the loaves. And that lesson is that God is always at work. Whether you see it or not, God is always with us. We're a lot like the disciples. But here's the good news. Like the disciples we're, it's not expected that we would be fearless in every circumstance. But I think what could be expected, what we should expect to our from ourselves is that we learn from our experiences of God, that we remember how God has showed up, that we share that story, that that love. 

We kind of think that maybe we're gonna end up with a God who says, Hey man, I don't know what else I can do. Like what do you want from me? How much more can I reveal myself? Can I show you my love, my presence, good news for us? He doesn't say that this is what he says, take heart. It is. I do not be afraid. So no matter how high those waves build, they are the waves that Jesus walks through to get to us. 

No matter how strong those winds are gonna blow, those are the wave winds that Jesus is gonna walk to get to us no matter how dark the night that is, the night that Jesus is gonna come to each and every one of us. And no matter how great our fear is, it is a fear that Jesus is already defeated. What weighs on you. 

As you pause and think about it just like I did when I'm like, Hey, I'm not really, I don't carry a lot of fear, but what are the things as you peel it back, the fear that you might hold and you're not even aware of it? 'cause my prayer for you guys and for me is that we might have the courage to take an honest look at our own fears, that we might have the courage to step into that, to name it, to acknowledge it, because it's that that allows us to, gives us the freedom that allows us to experience the love of God.

 And I'd say in the midst of anything, we can have that experience all week. This is what I'm gonna be thinking about and I hope you will be too. As you head out into your week, remember these words, keep these words close to your heart. Take heart. It is I do not be afraid. 

Please pray with me: Holy and gracious God, we gather together all as people that are beautiful and broken and trying so hard to follow you, Jesus. And in the midst of our lives, sometimes we're scared. God, you give us the gift of your love and your presence and the ability to not live our lives out of fear, but the ability to live our lives out of your love, your love for us, our love, one for one another. God, we are so grateful that you are God who walked across water that you do not pass us by, that you actually get in the boat and over and over again will hang onto those words. Take heart. It is I do not be afraid. Amen.